@MensHumor: Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: thunderbolt and lightning very, very frightening me (mashed potatoes) mashed potatoes (mashed potatoes) mashed potatoes
@tkhan74: I've been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Me: I'm sorry Aquaman, but talking to fish just isn't a super power. Aquaman: oh yeah? *squints* a dolphin scoots to my car and shits on it