@MensHumor: Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.
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@WarrenHolstein: Melania Trump says her husband is "not Hitler." That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands.
@rad_milk: if the sun is such a cool and great star then why do all the other stars leave when it shows up
@OutOfLeftField_: I told someone my name and they said, "That's unusual. You don't hear that every day." Actually, I do.
@MensHumor: You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.