@MensHumor: Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.
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@nocturnallyme: I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan.
@roostermustache: Me: if u take an opinion and subtract 3.14, you're just left with onion. pretty crazy huh Girl at the bar im flirting with: *takes 9 shots*
@PinkCamoTO: CW: Why don't you ever wear your hair down? Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So? Me: I don't want to encourage that.
@TheAuthorGuy: Much as I like Guardians of the Galaxy, in real life, I don't think it's a good idea to give a gun to a raccoon.