@pleatedjeans: Halloween is great bc kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal
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@trevso_electric: Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey.
@Quartzjixler: The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said "Keep the change" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase.
@ibid78: I have batlike reflexes. -You mean catlike reflexes? *screeches real loud right in your face to locate food and avoid obstacles*