@pleatedjeans: Halloween is great bc kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal
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@rolldiggity: 1. Cover elevator floor with glue. 2. Put ring on floor. 3. Wait for someone to kneel and get stuck. 4. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"
@BlindVigil: Fact: men are never too busy for sex. It's been clinically proven, 9 out of 10 men will find time for sex while fleeing a burning building.
@crunchenhanced: *Stands at produce aisle *Grabs GIANT zucchini *Holds it high in the air *Yells: Is THIS cucumber big enough for you, honey?!?!?!
@GrantTanaka: ok kids, this is a smoke detector, if you hear it beeping change the battery, if it's still beeping, check to see if ur on fire