@pleatedjeans: Halloween is great bc kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal
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@BigRadMachine: I was once accused of stealing money from work. I didn't do it but it was nice to know management also thought I wasn't getting paid enough.
@TweetPotato314: [Review] Boss: We’ll be giving you the company car *yawns* Me: A car! B: Sorry, I meant company card *sneezes* M: Well, a card’s still cool. B: Sorry again, It’s the company cardigan. M: Ok, I’m a medium. B: Then you should have known it was a sweater the whole time.