@BillDixonish: Halloween is the only day of the year you can ask someone "what are you supposed to be?" without triggering an existential crisis.
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@_NinJar: A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll.
@Brianhopecomedy: I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she'll do today is buy bedroom curtains.
@thetits: PARK RANGER: to be a guide you need to be able to name all the animals ME: no problem [later w/ a group] ME: that’s Greg, & that's Linda…