@crylenol: Hamlet, but starring a pig. We call it: Hamlet. Let me explain
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@ARealTinderella: You know, you don't realise what you've got until you don't have it. I just ran out of toilet paper ...
@Reverend_Scott: Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why didn't you text me? I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram.