@crylenol: Hamlet, but starring a pig. We call it: Hamlet. Let me explain
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@NintenDom: Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song has a part where it sounds like they're trying to guess words for a crossword puzzle.
@Reverend_Scott: ME: Can you stop the car here? I wanna pet the dogs at that animal shelter. ARRESTING OFFICER: No.
@Wanderlust6190: I'm gonna call my mom 26 times today to tell her about all the nothing that I'm doing, just to even the score.
@daemonic3: My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It's odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.