@Fred_Delicious: Han Solo had a much cooler older brother called Drum
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@OneFunnyMummy: My kids have enough energy to run 10,000 laps around the house but get tired walking around the block. I call bullshit.
@Cherbearxo: I promised my trainer that I'd set a gym schedule I would commit to regularly. So, now every time there's a lunar eclipse I work out.
@ThoughtOtter: *hears crying* *finds baby in dumpster* *sees large box full of N64 games* *looks around* "You didn't see anything, baby." *takes box*
@robfee: If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.