@ImmorallyFixate: Hand me the Phillips screwdriver, babe. No, the Phillips. NO. Ok look, hand me the thing you stabbed me with on New Year's. Thanks pumpkin!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GoldenSpirals: Coworker sneezed, and said "Oh my. I don't know where that came from." I'm no Scientist, but I'm pretty sure it came from her nose.
@iGreenMonk: When someone tell me , "long time no see" i usually reply, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"