@ImmorallyFixate: Hand me the Phillips screwdriver, babe. No, the Phillips. NO. Ok look, hand me the thing you stabbed me with on New Year's. Thanks pumpkin!
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@HatfieldAnne: *person walks past me minding his business and not bothering me in any way* “What's this idiot doing?”
@momTruthBomb: If I could just figure out how to decorate piles of laundry, my house would look AMAZING during Christmas.
@Snarfernini: I'm a wealth of knowledge Unless you want it to be true Then I'm pretty solid on about 6 topics 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors