@PaperWash: [handing out condoms to trick or treaters] give these to your parents, I don't want more of you coming back next year
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@stereoskyline: Procrastination has taught me how to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes.
@Thedudish: That awkward moment when your girlfriend is looking up for a noodles recipe on your computer and opens a file called "Asian."
@CodyJP9412: I think one of the toughest parts about growing up is realizing that you don't sweat blue if you drink blue Gatorade.