@brennadine: Hang on guys. My boyfriend told me not to be anxious, so I expect to feel better any moment.
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@4SLars: PSA: If your kid bumps into me one more time with your shopping cart I will unhinge my jaw and swallow him whole.
@girlontapas: I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20.
@TheRolo: [At a San Francisco Dance Club] *Grinds cute girl in a mini-skirt* Hey baby, what's your name? "Robert"