@3sunzzz: Hang up weed instead of mistletoe, then every time you stand under it you can have a snack.
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@ch000ch: i was doing yard work today when i stopped to tell a pile of leaves how cold fusion works. needless to say they were blown away.
@SteveSuckington: [camping] "Dad I'm afraid a raccoon is gonna come in my tent and eat me" -don't be silly. It'll probably be a bear. Sleep tight.