@weismanjake: Hangman is a weird game to let kids play. Hey kid, if you don't think of this word, a random man will be put to death.
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@Playing_Dad: [At crime scene] Detective: You need to take this seriously Me: I am *picks up leg bone* Me: I found this humerus. Lol. D: You're fired.
@AllyBallyBeal: Are you alone? Afraid? Lonely? Then you'd better turn up the TV because I just heard a noise
@SamGrittner: Life is what happens when you're busy choosing a filter for what already happened in life.
@Hobo_Splendido: The nephew I'm babysitting has been in a corn maze since Thursday, but I rationalize by thinking he has plenty to eat.