@slimmy_shady: Hangover status: playing duct, duct, tape with the kids.
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@cogentanalysis: "I want the box where I poop to smell like my poop or else I won't want to poop there. Whoa whoa, not THAT much like my poop! Jesus!" - cats
@CM2BTTHD: CPR refresher class. We're told, "If they're not breathing, there's no way you can make it worse." Woman then trips; kicks dummy's head off.