@ScorpionDong: Hangs a sign on front door that says "Robbery in progress - Please do not disturb" to deter burglars
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@shkeeber: One time I intentionally asked a thin woman "when she was due" because I was bored. So yeah, I guess you could say I'm into extreme sports.
@LoriLuvsShoes: Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm pretty? Cop: No Me: Because I'm on Twitter? Cop: No Me: Officer I can do this all day
@Pmerrily: Stole a cart from this woman at Walmart today. I like to think of it as playing grand theft auto suburbs edition.
@BonaFideIntent: How much cocaine is 2 much? Do u think security will view me ridding the elevator from the 1st to 2nd floor for the past 3hrs suspicious??