@Inferno_V: *hangs a vacant sign on your forehead*
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@zachreinert03: Saw a sticker that said "my son was an honor student". I almost got sad, but then I thought maybe he's not dead, maybe he's just stupid now
@Bexdora: My Mother worries about me living in London sometimes. I tell her it's not London she has to worry about. I just injured myself on a potato.
@ClassicMegan: Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.