@briangaar: Happy 30th birthday Super Mario Bros. To celebrate, I'm going to eat mushrooms, punch a brick wall & set a turtle on fire.
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@MatCro: "Chest, chest, chest and chest, chest and chest" - T-Rex singing "Head, shoulders, knees and toes".
@michaelianblack: The whole thing about "we're all going to die some day," that's a joke, right?
@hero_ofthenight: I feel like every time I go to Walmart I automatically witness the contradiction to their slogan being: 'save money, live better'
@Annoyedworld: I broke my arm when I was a kid, my Dad carried me ten miles to the hospital, he has cancer, so that's why my tattoo is hot nurse. -LA Ink.