@briangaar: Happy 30th birthday Super Mario Bros. To celebrate, I'm going to eat mushrooms, punch a brick wall & set a turtle on fire.
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@stockejock: Grandma, stop asking people what they're supposed to be for Halloween-this is Walmart.
@Rollmaninoz: Gremlins(1984): a shopkeeper with a creature so powerful it could destroy all human life gives it to a 12yo boy. Many lives are lost.(PG13)
@Donnie_Fairburn: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I brought a girl home last night 911: That's not an- Me: NOW SHE WON'T LEAVE! *swat team busts down my door*
@dreadnaught69: People who incessantly go on and on about replacing things that taste good with quinoa, please stop