@Birdhumms: "Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead" she hexed.
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@QwertyJones3: Me: You bought 6 bottles of carpet cleaning solution? Wife: Yes. Me: We have hard wood floors. Wife: I had a coupon that was expiring today!
@2tickytacky: If your date asks what you do for a living, just say "You let me worry about that."