@Birdhumms: "Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead" she hexed.
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@FormerGrunt: Stupidity is dangerous, and thanks to social media we have managed to weaponize it.
@nonsensetwit: If I had a daycare, I think it would be awesome to get each kid to wear one of those backpack-leash things and make them pull me on a sled.
@Brampersandon_: WIFE: what's the name of that girl you work with? ME: which girl? WIFE: the pretty one ME: I feel like this is a trap