@JamesBlunt: Happy Birthday to me. 27 years old… in Spice Girl years.
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@SteveKoehler22: My fortune cookie message read : "You appeal to a small, select group of confused people" .... Uh huh ....
@Underchilde: Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
@Sickayduh: "The Jetsons and Flintstones existed at the same time. One in the sky, one on the ground, and both in a post-apocal-" "Juror is dismissed"
@rad_milk: as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water