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@JamesBlunt: Happy Birthday to me. 27 years old… in Spice Girl years.
@Hadzilla: If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
@CodyJP9412: LAWYER: Would you like to press charges?
CHARGES: Please don't touch me.
@jazmasta: [Walks into steam room at gym]
"good morning my.."
"Please Dave no.."
"..My eSTEAMed colleagues"
"Everyone hates you"
@Dunn_Right: Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax
We get it you're unoriginal and watch SOA
Hold on my daughter Grey's Anatomy is crying
@TheGabbieShow: i cant get a dog because it will give strangers an excuse to talk to me