@ramenfuneral: happy easter everybody! remember it's not about the bunny but when scott stapp was nailed to that cross
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@carlyken: Look Disney all I'm saying is that if my stepdaughter brought a bunch of birds and mice into my mansion I'd make her clean up that shit too.
@graceful_asfuck: [Burger Lounge] Server: Are you 27? Me: OMG NO I'M 39 THANK U SO MUCH U MADE MY DAY Server: I meant your order number, ma'am.
@blaudiablogan: Sign at the gas station: "Bathroom is no longer available." I can't believe it. Even the Shell bathroom has someone.
@david8hughes: When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he's homeless or just tired from breakdancing.