@michaelianblack: Happy Fourth of July. May your emails be gathered and your drones fly forever free!
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@frankzulla: "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." - Twitter IT engineer that pressed the button for the 280 character limit update
@NoogsCorner: Cop: You been drinking?nnMe: No.nnCop: Say the alphabet backwards.nnMe: Alphabet the. nnCop: Hilarious. Say each letter.nnMe: Each letter.
@_NTFG_: DOCTOR: Are you sexually active? ME: Depends on what you mean by active. There are plenty of active volcanos that haven't gone off in years
@Sassafrantz: *rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems...