@KKAlThani: Happy International Women's day. Or a sad one. Or an angry one. Or a passive aggressive one. You never really know with women.
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@JVarsityCaptain: Ladies, wonder if he's busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before.
@brianbowman73: Saw someone simultaneously walking while writing on a pad of paper. I yelled at them to text and drive like a normal person.
@AlexvanBeek: You should feel pretty honoured if I subtweet you. But the tweet you think is about you, probably isn't. Twitter's hard. Get a helmet.