@atDevin: Happy Let's-Pretend-This-Relationship-Is-Still-Working Day
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@Stellacopter: Before emjois i had to end texts to my girlfriends with "two girls holding hands* heart* kissy face* glass of wine* nail polish* red lips."
@Eightinchgoat: My neighbor seriously just asked me, "Does Canada have 4th of July?" I said "No, they skip from the 3rd to the 5th, eh? I need to move.
@rpbateman: This coworker is in a really good mood this morning, so I hacked his Facebook account and wrote "sexy" on all of his wife's friends' pics.