@atDevin: Happy Let's-Pretend-This-Relationship-Is-Still-Working Day
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: 2-year-old: The dog tastes like dirt. Me: Don’t lick the dog. 2: He licked me first.
@XplodingUnicorn: Turning on a guy is like flipping a light switch. Turning on a woman is like wiring that switch & then building a nuclear plant to power it.
@Brampersandon_: RANGER: Remember, don't feed the bears ME (being attacked by a grizzly): OH GOD HE'S RIPPING ME APART! RANGER: What did I just say!?