@GlennHowerton: Happy St. Paddy's Day, everyone. I stayed in tonight. I'm not allowed to go out on St. Paddy's Day anymore. It's too much.
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@DaddyJew: Dad: I had a son once Stranger: what happened to him? D: he touched the thermostat Kid: dad, I'm like right here D: you hear something?
@Cravin4: It was that very moment when we realized our shared love for multipurpose utensils brought us together & that's when the sporks flew.
@krustythe_klown: The travel toothbrush has to be the greatest invention ever. Can you imagine having to lug around one of those regular heavy ones?
@JediGigi: I've been ill with night terrors, nausea, dizziness, hunger pains, cry fits, and a stutter. According to Web MD, I have a date tonight.