@GabbbarSingh: Happy Teacher's day, Wikipedia.
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@tarashoe: i'd be extra scared if a break-in occurred while i was in the shower and the burglar saw me in there, fully clothed and eatin my soup
@AndrewChamings: ME: I wasn't invited to the party FRIEND: Yeah, people think you're melodramatic ME: [slaps friend with silk glove] Then I shall die alone
@pplwtching: Rhythmic banging against the wall, his hands grasping the sheets. Unable to get what he needs, he gets out of bed to turn off the Roomba.