@HallpassCanada: Happy Thursday guys and remember. If you can't spot the douche at work today, then it's probably you.
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@theevilwriter: You seem like the type of person I might give my heart to, but as nervously as I'd be watching a drunk holding a newborn.
@yoyoha: If you love someone: 1. Set them free 2. Drunk dial them 3. Read too much into their FB posts 4. Make them feel sorry for you 5. Die alone
@MrBikferd: Guys: when you're shaving, do the Hitler part first. You don't want to get interrupted and then be running around with just the Hitler part.