@FeelingMervis: Happy Valentine's Day! So what's everyone doing with their cats tonight??
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@WilliamAder: If you get a gift from me, there may or may not be a pair of scissors between the wrapping and the gift. I'm gonna need those back.
@OctopusCavemann: It’s amazing how every single time I get fast food the person in front of me has never seen a fast food menu in their entire life.
@truegritrumble: Harmonicas were invented in 1932 when the worst person in the world decided he needed to organize his hot air into compartments.
@utofellatio: Henry constantly confuses sleeping people with dead people. Henry is also a necrophiliac so things get awkward for Henry quick