@TheHyyyype: Hard to believe the Cubs last won the World Series 108 years ago. Most of them don't look a day over 30.
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@KhrisWarhol: McDonalds can't extend their breakfast hours because at 10:01am, the eggs become self aware.
@wife_housy: Hubs says when I drink I'm "too loud" and use too many "big words." WELL I'M SORRY IF MY VOCIFEROUS GRANDILOQUENCE BOTHERS YOU!!
@: Me: Any news? Doctor: I'm just waiting for your x-ray. Me: But I've never dated anyone called Ray. Doctor: And we might do a brain scan.