@tat2dsoccermom: Hardcore Ramen: drink boiling water, swallow dried noodle block, snort flavor packet.
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@theshamingofjay: Growing a beard comes from laziness. If you ladies think that's sexy I have some laundry on my bedroom floor that'll turn you on.
@robfee: Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
@Rollmaninoz: Me: More fur & these cute little whisk- Police Sketch artist: you're describing a cat Me: please his birthday is today & he loves portraits
@yonewt: Searching for that special woman to share my interest in candlelit dinners, walks on the beach, and losing my shit over inanimate objects