@TheCiscoKidder: Harness the power of my dog's wagging tail and we could step into a much greener future.
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@TheDailySchmuck: Black Super Mario *Jumps on mushroom* *Throws fireball at turtle* *Slides down sewer pipe* *Arrested for assault, arson, and trespass*
@PrettyNBoots: Deactivated my FB. Before the final "submit", they show you pictures of "friends" that says "These people will miss you". Best laugh ever.
@_davidlucas_: So it's okay for the cat to run away and hide under the bed when visitors turn up. But when I do it, I'm "antisocial". I call bullshit.
@kelkulus: When I get to somebody's house, I text them, because knocking on doors is for poor people.