@chuuew: Harrison Ford just turned up at my AA group. I've never seen Han so low.
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@Underchilde: A friend asked how I’d describe a hot air balloon, and I just told him it’s a lot like my ex, but with a basket.
@er0tikka: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I would like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn.
@AngelaEhh: My boyfriend said no girlfriend of his will use social media. So anyway, I'll guess I'll miss what's his name.
@BatBatshitcrazy: Rum: We've replaced her depth perception with fun house mirrors, now we wait. *misses last two stairs, face plants* Rum: tee-hee