@HogwartsLogics: Harry wasn't chosen for Ravenclaw because he tried to catch the Hogwarts letters from the air instead of taking one from the floor.
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@daveexplosm: Saw the trailer for Life Of Pi. Why are they making a Calvin & Hobbes movie in 2013?
@twt_malaysia: 'You'll go to hell for that joke' *in Hell Me: What did you do? Hitler: Genocide, what did you do? Me: Dunno tweeted a joke
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Tell me a scary story! Me: One time little people popped out of your mom and they never stopped asking questions. 4: Why?