@alien_sushi: Has anybody seen my keys? theyre awesome.
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@carlyken: If you ever catch me staring blankly during our conversation it's because I can't remember if it's my turn to say words or yours.
@GingerHotDish: Imagine my surprise at the school Thanksgiving "costume" party, when I showed up as Poison Ivy and everyone else was dressed as pilgrims.
@iGreenMonk: Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Me: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.