@alien_sushi: Has anybody seen my keys? theyre awesome.
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@sumpeoplelikeit: If you have a tattoo on your head, you've lost the right to ask me what I'm looking at.
@onelongbender: Fun Fact: When the bartender asks if you want two or three fingers, he isn't always talking about the liquor.
@DamienFahey: Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check.
@steveolivas: If this doughnut and chocolate milk are going to take years off my life, could I have them remove 1978-1982?