@njlitigator: Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in??
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@TheRealNickKay: WIFE: I can't believe you ruined my birthday yesterday ME: What a load of bollocks, Karen. I didn't even know it was your birthday
@TheAdly: All the good ones are taken. All the funny ones are fat. All the smart ones are ugly. All the ones with all of the above are fictional.
@Amrrwise: Dear spouse: When I said I needed more physical contact, I was not aiming for you to high five me whenever I walk by...