@rachelle_mandik: has anyone fixed the sound barrier yet
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@thenatewolf: *she hears me singing in the shower* Her: oh he's so cute *she hears a guitar amp click on and feedback ring out* Her: NATE NOOOOOOOOOOOO
@RickAaron: I hired a pizza chef as my new golf coach. One way or another the dude is gonna fix my slice.
@_little_old_me: My eyesight is so bad that, after I took my contacts out last night, I chatted to my cat for 5 mins before I realised it was my handbag.
@TheFearBoners: 8 year old at the park said I threw like a girl. He found out I kick in the nuts like a girl too.