@rachelle_mandik: has anyone fixed the sound barrier yet
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@jakob_huber: Lost in a corn maze? Light it on fire. Turn it into a popcorn maze. Eat your way out.
@Steelers1972: A spider just fell from the ceiling and landed right in front of me and now I have to explain why a woman was screaming in my cubicle.
@Brianhopecomedy: Walked into the kitchen and saw my wife laughing while putting a banana in the garbage disposal so I think I'll sleep in the other room.
@envydatropic: There's something mentally wrong with people who ask other parents if their baby isn't the cutest baby they've ever seen