@fightforfood: Has anyone tried watering old people? Maybe they just need to be watered.
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@ShutUpThatsWho: [first karate lesson] Me: *entering dojo* BONSAI!!! Sensei: Do you mean 'Banzai'? Me: *just starts chucking little trees at Sensei*
@jonnysun: a•c•q•u•a•i•n•t•a•n•c•e•s (tv show, sitcom): six peopel avoid grabbing a cup of coffee together for 10 years
@junejuly12: He always wanted a surprise gift wrapped up in a big red bow. *carefully arranges shiny red ribbon around a wriggling porcupine*
@SteveKoehler22: Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ? So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.