@lindseyallen: Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing.
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@bingowings14: I've turned the wifi off. The 15yo's world has ended. I feel like one of the 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse. Conquest, War, Famine & Dad.
@JohnLemongrab: "open up, this is the police!" "well, I've felt alone since my girlfriend left me, I'm sad all the time-" "no the door open up the door"
@Carbosly: I like to write all my death threat letters in Comic Sans. I find it lightens the mood.
@upsidedowntrash: After a long journey Frodo and Sam arrive to return the One Ring to the fires of Mt. Doom Frodo: Dude dont be mad, but I forgot the receipt