@TheNewsAtGlenn: Hate freeloaders who join in the New Year's Eve countdown for the last 10 seconds. I've been doing this all year. Where were you back in May
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@delusions_of: What I said: "Let's get together sometime." What I meant: "Please forget you ever saw me."
@hazelmotes1: *gets fired the first day on the job as an EMT for trying to cook a frozen burrito with the defibrillator*