@BruceForce: Hate it when a mum automatically assumes their baby is hungry when they cry. Maybe they're crying for a stable economy. YOU DON'T KNOW!
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@ThRealBallsDeep: <at first day of t-ball practice> Me:What's the first rule here, boys? Kid:Don't poop your pants? M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.
@sammyrhodes: Marriage is like wine. It gets better with age. Also it makes you say things you regret.
@dafloydsta: [counseling] She gets angry a lot "He took me camping and left me in the middle of nowhere" YOU SAID YOU LIKED SURVIVOR, KAREN