@meladoodle: Hate it when dudes say "leave something to the imagination!" like what do you think is under my clothes? a mystery prize? a pumpkin? Obama?
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@pinupteacher: [me on phone with mechanic] Car won't start. I think it's the battery. Or power steering. Could be a fuse. Wheels, probably wheels. Engine.
@SamDeLanche: Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
@BryMastas: Life's most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
@Ivsy01: If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you.