@Bownuggets: Hate it when I can't find my slippers so I have to stand upon the wings of my pet pterodactyl Benedict as he fetches me the morning paper
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheCatWhisprer: Can't believe how divided we've become over an election. It's not like it's the color of a dress or something.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: *pinching bridge of my nose* Kid, the sky is blue because it's made of dead Smurfs, okay? Believe me, I don't like it either.
@CodyJP9412: HER: What're you most afraid of? ME: *thinking of how terrible it would be if my dog laid eggs that hatched into cats* Losing you, babe.
@Fickle_Filly: Sorry I dressed up like Captain Caveman when you asked me if I wanted to go clubbing.