@wicce_podge: Hate to be nosey, people in the hallway, but you're too effing loud and yes, that mole should be looked at.
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@miilkkk: If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I'm having sex. Probably with the other sock.
@JohnHilsen: Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.
@TheBoydP: Did you know a tornado with no debris is called a naked twister? Related: This evening is not going how I imagined.
@SarcasticAlly12: Motherhood is like being a fireman putting out fires but everyone is shouting out how you're doing it wrong and criticizing your sweatpants.