@JhonRules: Hate when I forget to grab a towel before I shower and have to dry off by doing karate in the mirror for 3 hours
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@CrackedIllusion: Haven't refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed.
@mydanimarie: 911 what's your emergency? I FARTED ON THE FIRST DATE. Ma'am we don't-- IT SOUNDED LIKE A BALLOON ANIMAL ASKING A QUESTION
@Cpin42: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you got picked on in high school? Cop: *sniffles* Shut up.
@Bexdora: Piglet: *sees recipe book* Honey-glazed...Pooh, what's ham? WinniethePooh: A food that goes well with honey. Now, how about a nice hot bath?