@AmishPornStar1: Hate when I lay out too close to the shoreline and the other beach goers team up to try to push me back in the water.
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@Storminika: My friend just broke up with her man. I really helped her through the break up by letting her know he's no good in bed anyway.
@daddyville: I like the word "panties" so much I'm going to start using it in place of "cool." Friend: Check out my new car! Me: Oh man, that's panties.