@AmishPornStar1: Hate when I lay out too close to the shoreline and the other beach goers team up to try to push me back in the water.
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@sexypitabread: "I don't want no scrubs" a doctor says before she violates, like, a TON of health codes
@novicefather: I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years.
@GrantTanaka: me: so what, you're gonna be angry at me for the rest of your life wife: no, the rest of yours
@blade_funner: [holding a device in my hand that contains the accumulated knowledge of mankind] *search* Panda...playing...ukulele