@daemonic3: Hate when the grammar police single me out like some kind of which hunt
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@heatherlou_: My friend says her Dr told her she’s underweight but I stopped listening because I cannot relate at all.
@Abusitron: As the anesthetic knocks you out, your surgeon washes his hands and misses a really easy shot into the garbage with the paper towel.
@AndyAsAdjective: Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no.