@XnotafunnyladyX: Hate when Walmart doesn't have what I need & I have to go home, change out of my pajamas & brush my hair so I can go to Target
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@BestestNerdDad: When dating, I only have 3 dates to get a woman hooked on me because thats how many nice shirts i have.
@ericsshadow: [flying remote control helicopter near my wife] GET THAT THING AWAY FROM MY- [helicopter gets tangled in her hair & now I'm a dead person]
@thatdutchperson: Funny how I used to see human features in things like electrical sockets, or clouds, or my ex.