@Jubafisher: Haters gonna hate, alligators gonna alligate
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@ImaFlyontheWall: Him:Dude, I went on one of those police ride alongs with my friend..it was awesome! You ever done that? Me: In the front or back of the car?
@TheBlessMess: My roadside emergency kit is a black wig, a disco ball and a bottle of vodka. Might as well have fun while I wait to be murdered.
@WeissBrandon: Cop: know y I pulled u over? Wife: to invite me to the state trooper's ball? Cop: state troopers don't have balls Me: BAHAHA Cop: drive safe
@OctopusCaveman: Next time someone finds me passed out drunk I’m going to ask “What year is it” and then scream “It worked” and gleefully run away.