@AndrewNadeau0: Hats were invented in 1784 when a Canadian was too polite to ask a raccoon to get off his head.
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@YourMomsucksTho: Being a wife and mom is kind of like being a lawyer, everyone hates you until they need you
@OBiiieeee: my last girlfriend broke up wth me after she went through my phone and i refused to tell her why i searched for goth grandpas
@Elizasoul80: Unless you've been in Target with more than 1 child, you have no idea what it's like to be a lion tamer.