@RealCarrotFacts: Have a headache? Eating a carrot can help if you take a Advil after it
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@Go2Slp: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to start the journey from I Can't Breathe Without You to I'll Choke You Out In Public.
@Sickayduh: A sitar solo so complex and mind melting that the one guy who knows what a sitar is claps
@HandyJack420: My daughter just finished watching Frozen so, counting today that's 12,521,865,635,869 times since Tuesday
@Jeffwni: Son: DAD! There's a mobster under my bed! Me: Aaw, cute. You mean monster? Son: No [from under the bed] "Whatcha gonna do 'bout it big guy?"