@RealCarrotFacts: Have a headache? Eating a carrot can help if you take a Advil after it
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@Reverend_Scott: 911: What's your emergency? THE BARISTO IS HAVING A STROKE 911: Barista? IT'S A GUY. BARISTO 911: No, it's still- Nm he's dead now
@Underchilde: If I ever commit suicide, I wanna jump off a cliff w/an open umbrella so people wonder if I thought it would bring me safely to the ground.
@TheMichaelRock: I forgot my work ethic at home today, but I did remember to bring my shenanigans and debauchery.