@gringothespice: Have been woken up with the hangover from hell by the sound of my neighbour's lawn mower. He'll just have to mow around me, I'm not moving.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@EliTerry: "Our relationship is nice because we can sit silently and still have fun." - cool thing to say to the person in bathroom stall next to you.
@samalmightysam: -Knock Knock! -Who is it? -The love of your life. - :) Really? -Hahahaha no, it's the pizza you ordered.
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: Let's talk about the elephant in the room. Me: Not cool, dude. Jan's just pregnant. Him:.. Me: Jan if you report this I got your back.