@gringothespice: Have been woken up with the hangover from hell by the sound of my neighbour's lawn mower. He'll just have to mow around me, I'm not moving.
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@AnnaKei26: According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the blood alcohol level is to be measured in Lohans now
@werehedgehog: No, they're not called hedge funds because hedgehogs control the global economy. What a silly idea. :) *later to thugs* They know too much.
@SortaBad: You say tomato. I say tomato. Our eyes meet. We've decided on the perfect name for our baby
@Mr_Kapowski: [press session regarding increase in shark bites] Reporter: Are there more attacks in one area? Scientist: [lips against mic] In the water