@gringothespice: Have been woken up with the hangover from hell by the sound of my neighbour's lawn mower. He'll just have to mow around me, I'm not moving.
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@michaelianblack: The Old Testament is the historical record of the first time we Jews controlled the media.
@minealone6: Saw a deer standing beside the highway this morning watching the traffic go by.Guess he was trying to figure out who's day he wanted to ruin
@JosesLovesYou: For my new tattoo, I'm totally getting a chest piece of a chess piece, cause its fun to be a pun.