@gringothespice: Have been woken up with the hangover from hell by the sound of my neighbour's lawn mower. He'll just have to mow around me, I'm not moving.
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@KalvinMacleod: I've got good news and bad news. The good news is this tweet is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing.
@bridger_w: After I ask a stranger if I can pet their dog and they say yes, I like to respond, "I'll keep that in mind" and walk off
@squirrel74wkgn: I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
@dshack8: You don't know shit about pressure until you're the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you.