@JamieLinks: Have decided Twitter is like a good grandma. Makes dirty jokes, complains a lot, corrects your grammar, tells you who has died.
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@longwall26: Son, we don't play Hungry Hungry Hippos for "fun." We play it to learn how friends turn on each other in moments of desperation and scarcity
@WalkingOutside: Kids are like doughnuts. Sweet and yummy but more than one, maybe two, and you're like, "What the hell have I done?"
@david8hughes: "HONEY, MY TOOTHBRUSH IS MOVING!" "Has it got ears?" "YEAH." "Tail?" "YEAH." "Is it the dog?" "I THINK I KNOW THE DIFF--AH IT BIT ME AGAIN!"
@dxblarssonENG: I hate when my tattoo guy asks if he can take pics for his website and then I wake up the next day realising I don't have any tattoos.