@JamieLinks: Have decided Twitter is like a good grandma. Makes dirty jokes, complains a lot, corrects your grammar, tells you who has died.
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@GrillinChillin9: Eve: I think we should see other people. Adam: There's other people here? Eve: No. A: What the... E: Sshh! Don't make this difficult.
@Staggfilms: ME: my mouth is all itchy HER: were you in the attic again? ME: you mean my Free Cotton Candy Room? HER: I'll speed dial poison control
@Quartzjixler: The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said "Keep the change" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase.