@JamieLinks: Have decided Twitter is like a good grandma. Makes dirty jokes, complains a lot, corrects your grammar, tells you who has died.
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@tastefactory: JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*
@orange_rhymer: [alternate reality] [dogs walking their humans on leashes] dog1: have u heard of upman? dog2: whats upman? dog1: not much man whats up w/ u?
@causticbob: Greek people must feel like a tampon. They live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, but at the worst period.