@AnkCoupleTO: Have single guys scared of the "Friend Zone" even heard of long-term relationships or marriage?
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@tvandjam: Wow, you're a Sagittarius?? That must mean you're trusting, passionate and thick as pig shit to think I care about horoscopes
@deedles420: I bet crop circles are just Yelp for aliens with reviews like 'Earth: hangry species, would not recommend.' or 'if you must visit, visit in the summer, ★★✩✩✩.'
@calvinstowell: Captain America is fighting with the Red Skull on Twitter right now. This is too real.
@the_rock_chic: Just walking down the "Gluten Free" aisle, secretly dropping boxes of Twinkies in everyone's carts.