@radstunts: have u ever just taken your goth girlfriend out on a date but it gets dark out and you lose her in the parking lot
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@jazmasta: Who called it confronting ur husband Stanley about flirty texts from a girl named Rebecca from a former soviet state and not Who'sbeckystan?
@NYC_Blonde: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it date an emotionally available, age-appropriate, nice, single guy with a good job.
@Vodkantots: Get your therapist to start taking you seriously by pulling a donut out of your purse.
@imagine_vegas: Still haven't cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different