@radstunts: have u ever just taken your goth girlfriend out on a date but it gets dark out and you lose her in the parking lot
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@jergarl: OMG I love you You're the best You left me Did you bring me stuff OMG Anything I don't care Where have you been I smell someone else -Dogs
@WilliamAder: My second account is trying to drive a wedge of suspicion between me and my Twitter crush.
@Kennedydp5: The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from
@eedrk: doctor: you know how to measure your bowel movements me: yeah of course doctor: you weigh yourself before and after me: [15 Sec pause] yeah